Get Out of a Quarantine Sex Slump

Feel like your sex life’s been a bit lacking lately (if not outright nonexistent)? You are not alone!

Suzannah Weiss quotes me in Lioness (which incidentally offers some very badass, high-tech sex toys) for her article How to Get Out of a Quarantine Sex Slump.

Here’s the start of the article:

Feel like your sex life’s been a bit lacking lately (if not outright nonexistent)? Yeah, that’s kind of a thing right now.

In a survey by the app Mentimeter and relationship therapist Vienna Pharaon, 36% of people in the U.S. and Europe said the spark between them and their partners has dwindled since quarantine, and 41% were having less sex.

Anyone else surprised those numbers aren’t higher?

The reason this is happening is fairly simple: People’s libidos drop when they’re under stress, says MFT and sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, LMFT, CST. “In survival mode, our nervous systems are wired for less social bonding and less emotionally vulnerable activities, which can include sex,” she explains. “Add to that the ramifications of being stuck inside during a shelter-in-place mandate, and healthy libidos may drop even more: less sunshine, exercise, and social engagement are all factors which have the potential to lower sex drive.”

But don’t let that become yet another reason to panic. The pandemic may have put a damper on your sex life in the short term, but once you’ve figured out how to get over that hurdle, your relationship will ultimately benefit from it.

Here are a few ways to get your sex life back on track and out of the quarantine slump:

Get out whenever you can

Even if you’re just taking a walk together, seeing your partner outside the context of your usual routine and home setting can bring back some of the chemistry, says Conger — especially if you only see them nowadays in their pajamas in the living room.

Even better if you two can each get out on your own for awhile so that you have the chance to miss each other a little.

Talk about your turn-ons

If you’re wanting more out of your sex life, talking about what you enjoy in bed and what would make things more exciting for each of you is a great way to get out of your quarantine slump.

“You may think that you and your partner already know what fantastic sex should be like together, but assumptions, miscommunications, and perceived rejections can all do avoidable damage to relationships,” says Conger. “Get comfortable talking about the intimate dance you are creating in your couple.”

Read the full article here at Lioness.