Signs of Sexual Tension

Dating XP and Brides both ask me to weigh in on sexual tension and how to see the signs, including how to assess whether sexual tension is real and what to look for before acting on it.

Read the full article on Dating XP here or Brides here and check out an excerpt of my contributions below:

There is no clinical definition of sexual tension, however, there are typical physiological signs when sexual tension occurs. Increased heart rate, increased body temperature, nervousness/anxiety, and a shift in vocal patterns are all common indicators that sexual tension is present, according to AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Indigo Stray Conger.

These physiological signals are responses to pheromones, which are little understood chemicals that our bodies release to prime the sexual excitation system. Others' pheromones are perceived by our olfactory senses on an unconscious level and catalyze our own pheromone release

Once our excitation system is engaged and we directly interact with someone with whom we have sexual tension, we begin to incorporate the limbic systems in our brains into the response cycle. When our limbic systems interact with other limbic systems through eye contact, physical touch, belly laughter, or playful rough housing our bodies release dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin (all the good stuff!).

This kind of mutual connection is the next step up from sexual tension – commonly referred to as “new relationship energy” or, more scientifically, limerence.