When Conceiving is Complicated

Sarah Prager at Healthline explores how trying to get pregnant can shift sex and intimacy, whether for couples facing infertility, same sex couples, single parents by choice or trans folks. Prager consults experts (including myself) on what to do when conceiving gets complicated.

Excerpt:

Indigo Stray Conger, an AASECT certified sex therapist, agrees that communication is essential: “Engage in detailed discussions with your partner about how you are approaching infertility, how you have noticed it impacting your dynamic (sexually or otherwise), how far you are each willing to go in order to pursue having a child, and whether there is a different pace than the one you are engaging in which would better support your relationship.”

Remember that your partner may be experiencing very different emotions than you, especially if only one of you is the one trying to get pregnant: “Take the time to understand your partner’s frustration or sadness and how it may differ from your own.”

Conger adds that you should make quality time for intimacy whether or not that is sex itself: “Make sure you have quality time and intimacy (which may or may not include intercourse) built into the rhythm of your lives in a way that does not intersect with trying to conceive. Focus on non-goal oriented intimacy, taking time and space away from stress to be naked while talking and touching. Rediscovering basic communication around touch and traveling less familiar paths towards connection can reignite pleasure and appreciation for one another.”

One fun way she recommends doing this is the “3 Minute Game,” where you touch your partner for 3 minutes in a way they want to be touched, and they reciprocate.

Read the full article at Healthline here.