The Psychology of Halloween

Kiki Wellington of Medium spotlights my opinion in TWO articles on the psychology behind Halloween costumes.

In the first, entitled 5 Psychological Reasons We Love Sexy Halloween Costumes, I am excited to be quoted alongside the venerable Dr. Carol Queen! The second article, 4 Sexy Halloween Costumes to Express Your Hidden Desires, is all input from me. So if you want a fun read for the holiday, click one of the original links or read below:

5 Psychological Reasons We Love Sexy Halloween Costumes

What goes on in our mind when we choose these provocative outfits

(Excerpt)

Pushing Boundaries Without Negative Feelings

If you’re interested in exploring a sexual fantasy that’s considered taboo, you may experience some bad feelings that make you ultimately avoid it. However, during Halloween, you can give yourself permission to push these boundaries without worrying about what people think — and without dealing with certain emotions that come with this exploration.

“Halloween provides a forum for pushing the boundaries of sexual taboo by labeling it as pretend, just fun or ironic. Those who dress up and enjoy their sexuality do not have to confront complex questions of shame and identity as they might if they dress up other days of the year,” said licensed relationship and sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, Co-Founder of Mile High Psychotherapy and writer for Choosing Therapy. “They can take things to an expressive edge without risking judgment or ridicule — from themselves or others.”

4 Sexy Halloween Costumes to Express Your Hidden Desires

Choose a costume that fits your exploratory mood

(Full Article)

Halloween is a time of self-expression, so we may put a great deal of thought into our costumes in order to make a bold statement. Since these costumes often allow us to express ourselves in sexual ways we may not feel comfortable with the rest of the year, our choice may say a lot about our moods and hidden desires, according to licensed relationship and sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, Co-Founder of Mile High Psychotherapy and writer for Choosing Therapy. The following are some ways that sexy Halloween costumes may be an exploration of our fantasies — and how we can choose a costume based on the yearnings we want to express.

Exploring Innocence

Do you want to play with power and age dynamics within the confines of dress-up for adults? Do you feel like you want to explore your innocent side and feel a little bit objectified in the process? Then you may want to get a sexy Little Red Riding Hood costume this Halloween.

“As Little Red Riding Hood, a person can enjoy being a young, objectified, and helpless character without having to give up their ‘real’ self — who may be a sexually modest, mature, responsible adult,” Conger said. “If the exploration becomes uncomfortable or goes too far, tomorrow everything will return to what it was before.”

Getting Pampered

Do you feel somewhat unappreciated by your partner? Do you want your partner to make you feel special and to spoil you? A princess costume may be the best way to indulge in these feelings, says Conger.

“Women, or men, who dress up as a beautiful damsel in distress often feel their unique or ‘royal’ qualities go unnoticed,” she explained. “They may have a secret — or not so secret — desire to be pampered by their partner, or to find a new mate who will see them for the special creature they are.”

Playing With Power

Do you want to probe your power? If so, Conger says that whether you’re a man or a woman, a warrior or superhero costume may be a perfect vehicle to convey your strength in a sexy way.

“Fierce or powerful costumes are often chosen by women who are tired of being called cute and want their stronger qualities recognized,” she said. “Men choose these costumes to show off their muscles or attractive features without seeming too egotistical.”

Getting Lost in Fantasy

Do you want to really get deeply lost in your fantasy? Do you want to make sure no one can recognize you so you can really let loose? If so, a scary costume may fit the bill.

“These are often chosen so a person can go incognito,” said Conger. “Scary costumes typically have heavy makeup or masks, so a person can hide their features and feel less self-conscious.”

Making the Moment Last

Although it’s great to use your Halloween costume to communicate your hidden emotions and desires to the world, Conger says you don’t have to wait until October 31 to make these bold statements. You can actually incorporate your desires into your wardrobe, and push the boundaries you want to push, whenever it feels right.

“Inviting less conformity, more expressiveness, and general sex positivity into the day-to-day goes a long way toward feeling comfortable in your own skin. Bold makeup to accent features instead of to hide faults can allow a person to feel more fully themselves,” Conger said. “Clothing that is focused on expressing personality and is revealing to a level that feels authentic to the wearer can enhance self-esteem and desirability.”